Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
