I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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