At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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