that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
