I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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