We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
