I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
do herpes really smell.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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