My room smells like vodka and shame
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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