I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
