Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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