Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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