he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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