you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
