the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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