just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
