I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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