As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
