i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
