I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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