Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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