Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
