and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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