i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
