google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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