Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
