Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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