She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
