i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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