I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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