she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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