Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
