well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
