I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
