You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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