she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
