So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
