I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
