You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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