Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
