My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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