I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
