it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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