why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
