I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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