Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
