Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
