why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
