I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
