come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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