Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
