My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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