oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
