Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
