i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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