I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
