It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize