my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
