This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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