I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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