I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
