She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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