Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
